The Times

U h, is the puppy mechanical in any way? Why would a robot need to drink? I wish! It's a nickel. Leela, Bender, we're going grave robbing. Goodbye, friends. I never thought I'd die like this. But I always really hoped. Are you crazy? I can't swallow that.
I'm Santa Claus! They're like sex, except I'm having them! And then the battle's not so bad? But I've never been to the moon! Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it.
Leela, are you alright? You got wanged on the head. You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don't pay you or let you go. It doesn't look so shiny to me.
[having quickly written a book to trap the Big Brain in] There, now he's trapped in a book I wrote: a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors! I found what I need. And it's not friends, it's things. We're rescuing ya. Well, let's just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it. It's okay, Bender. I like cooking too.
Negative, bossy meat creature! I had more, but you go ahead. But existing is basically all I do! I could if you hadn't turned on the light and shut off my stereo. Say what? Hey, whatcha watching?